One of my greatest weaknesses is the inability to juggle two things at once - like writing and being a mom. Or writing and having a life outside of the writing in general.
On the outside I think I do a good job pretending I do know how to juggle all those things, but the truth is, I struggle. I remember during the days when I was starting out my massage practice 15 years ago, I had to draw a pie chart which represented my overall life. How much time was I going to devote to massage as a career, marketing it, hanging out with friends, being with family, and setting aside time for myself?
Strange that when I went into massage as a field, it was actually so that I'd have the flexibility to write - yet when I wrote that pie chart, writing never even made it in there anywhere because to me,
setting aside time for myself = writing. It was a no-brainer. Taking care of myself didn't even involve getting myself a massage knowing full well that I was usually plotting out my novels while lying on the massage table pretending to relax.
After all, it's why I write - to sort out things in my life that I need to look into more and glean lessons from them. It's a very roundabout way of solving problems, but that's the main reason I write - besides the escapist part of it, of course. Who wouldn't want to live the life of the rich and famous, or solve mysteries while jetting in private planes, or stand before a packed Broadway theater and act their hearts out?
But now that writing has taken over most of the pie chart once reserved for my private massage practice which has now been relegated to a tiny tiny sliver to represent just being at my office once a week, how do I balance that with everything else? These days I have a high-functioning 5-year old kid on the spectrum who should be getting a lot of therapy to address behavioral concerns, a house to look after and laundry to do, even meals to prepare. There are playdates with other kids for the little one, and time with friends.
But with me being writer, blogger, marketer and all around juggler, it's hard to find the balance to be all that. But I try. It's the only thing I can do, really, while trying to find the time to blog about my book or about writing in general, even if I end up sounding like I'm whining like I am now, learn how to engage reviewers to read my book, or find the right book cover designers to convey the covers I want without having to waste any more money as I have on plain stock photo covers, and so much more.
Even my iPhone 6Plus, with its hundreds of organizing apps can't hold a candle to all the things I have to do without me needing to have a battery reserve somewhere in my purse amidst the snacks I have to take for my kid and myself. Hell, most days I even forget to eat.
It's an ongoing battle each and every day just to get everything done amidst the writing. It's what gets me up at 7 in the morning, already working while still under the covers and dragging myself to bed at midnight or 1am just to get some shut-eye before the whole process starts again - and yet I'm behind, and most days, feeling like the lousiest parent on the playground.
I've even gotten myself notebooks again to write everything down just in case my beloved phone runs out of battery, and usually by 10 am, it's at 40% from all the writerly things I have to do on it while on the go. Maybe that's why I'm still rambling right now instead of hopping in the shower and grabbing something to eat before picking up the kid from kindergarten and taking him to the Titanic exhibit just like I promised him last week (he reminds me these things because I think he's figured out how scatterbrained his mom is - and he's only 5).
Which reminds me - I so need to get a day planner again. But then, do they even sell them still?
